the letter z

On cowardice

Posted in Uncategorized by z on 2010-01-24

Really, the only decision in my life that I feel absolutely no regrets over, that the only thing pursued that would remain an absolute constant, would be my decision to pursue transition. It is a funny thing, that it was the one that caused the most impact and potential to harm others that were closest to me: but now I find that I am deathly afraid to harm others that I find myself nearly incapable of possibly doing this again.

I have become a coward. I find it difficult to reconcile my convictions earlier in life with this newfound impotence. I can’t allow it. I must not allow it.


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